As the title says, I’m having some crazy thoughts lately…lots of ideas running through my mind (welcome to the bipolar life). Instead of trying to write a paragraph here and there, I’m just going to list it so here goes nothing!!
1) I had a dream that an older lady in our church, in the middle of a group of people, said she was a lesbian. Everyone was quiet and awkward…I woke up laughing!
2) I had a dream this morning that someone took a breath and blew it out on my face (like you do to a baby to get them to breathe when they’re crying). It woke me up 15 minutes before my alarm went off.
3) There was a man at work today who I honestly wanted to suggest he go to the hospital because he was SO angry…I figured he was either in pain, had a mood disorder or was going to have a heart attack because he looked like his blood pressure was through the roof! Honestly, how do you stay angry in a French Bakery??? The smells alone make me cherry!
4) I made pickled crab apples today for the first time ever. They are absolutely beautiful and taste amazing! Incidentally, I had heard from my friends that they gave people a “high” feeling…so I tested them out on my parents, grand parents and myself (without anyone knowing except me). Sadly, no one saw any pink elephants or experienced weird giddyiness…oh well.
5) I am so excited for school to start! I love being in my dorm room, studying like crazy, having crazy adventures with my friends, late night pizza parties, running at 6:30am in the gym, and maybe some studying here and there. Of course, there is also seeing my husband who I MISS like crazy! I haven’t seen him in two weeks and the last two times I’ve seen him, I have been sick. He is the guy that makes me melt a little bit inside and makes me smile until it hurts. Yes, I’m in love…and I love it!
6) Husband…wow, what a mess we’ve had over the past long while, too long. I don’t know how I can love someone who hurt me so much…but I don’t know how he can love me after I hurt him so much. He isn’t “a” guy in my life…he is “the” guy in my life. I remember saying once that being in love is terrible because it can so easily lead to hate. I was sort of wrong. Being in love isn’t terrible, it’s great…but love is passionate and passion is good OR bad. We’ve been passionate in a good way. We’ve been in love, we’ve been completely connected…and we’ve been so far apart that all we want to do it hurt the other person as much as they hurt us. The thing is…forgiving him was never an option…it just is. I can’t have a whole life without him. My heart felt broken when he wasn’t around, I couldn’t breathe as deeply, I couldn’t sleep right…it just hurt. And finally, when he hugs me it’s insane. He holds me and the world spins a bit faster, my knees just shake and I can’t explain it. I can talk to him about anything…from a crappy day to my friends…to his life, friends…and BOTH our families. I am in love…and as weird as things are…it’s forever and ever.
7) I am now addicted to Degrassi….it’s my guilty pleasure andd I’m not giving it up 
Well, there’s the list…it’s been a day but I’m happy. I have been eating…well, I’ve been eating crap lately…but I’ve been doubling my exercise and feeling good (found a new muscle in my leg..inner thighs are getting toned, baby!).
GOAL FOR TOMORROW: Eat a healthy Breakfast, dinner and supper. Easy goal tomorrow 
