From Health to Kittens

Good evening Blogworld,

The good news is that the dentist was not horribly painful nor did it cost anything.  I went up because my dissolving stitches didn’t dissolve.  I had the top right stitches cut out (big scissors, no pain and immediately felt better), left the office…and realized there were MORE stitches on the bottom left corner of my mouth!  I went back to the dentist and those stitches weren’t as friendly.  That area of my mouth was sore and I guess I tore open some of the healed skin eating a hot dog today.  Oh my WOW!  That HURT!!!  Luckily, it is now over and done with and hopefully, I am healthy and happy again shortly. (as I was writing this, I found another stitch)

So here is me last night I was trying to make mom smile for a photo and look good so was like “just do this and you’ll always look cool…”  This proves that you do NOT always look cool when doing that.  Now, I actually really like this photo of me even though I look like a complete idiot.  Mom and I had a great night out to dinner (where this picture was taken).  I had the crab cakes with a garlic/lime mayo and mom had a beet salad with warmed goat cheese.  We both had a scallop and lobster pasta with spinach.  Dessert…oh wow…was a chocolate mousse for me and a lemon/raspberry trifle for mom.  It was an absolutely amazing night out.

This is where I tell people to enjoy cheating.  You can be “good” for the rest of your life but sometimes…even once a year…cheating on a diet is NOT going to pack on those 5, 10 or 100 lbs that you lost.  Memories, no matter how many people say they can be replaced, are often surrounded by food.  Let’s embrace it, enjoy it and savor it…in moderation.

The next thing is kittens…mom is the local dog constable on the Island and this means taking pets away to be adopted by other people.  Today she took away a cat and her six kittens.  The shelter was full so mom brought home six kittens and the momma kitty (her name is now Spay and she’s family) to stay with us until they are big enough to be adopted out.

Spay and her kittens

Please people, spay/neuter your pets.  If you cannot afford to, don’t get the animal.  Spay is a great addition to our family and she really is a sweetie.  Anyways, I’m gunna go do a salt water rinse, take some antibiotics and chill for the night.

Later!

I give up on men

Me with my crazy new hairstyle, extensions in (pretty sure that I said I was going to post this earlier but couldn’t get it to work).

Do I love my bf? Yeah…I married him 5 years ago yesterday.  Am I upset with him? YEP!!!  Look, I get that my past is my past and I’m not exactly the most ‘perfect’ person…at all…but seriously, I hate this whole “I don’t know if I can get over the past” from him.  Yeah, there is a past.  It’s there…I’m working on dealing with it!  I know I’m whining and I’m irritated but oh well…Here’s hoping things get better soon.  My stomach hurts worrying about this.

Missed writing

I missed writing here lately but being sick has SUCKED!  I had my wisdom teeth out on Wednesday at about noon.  Wednesday night I would up in the hospital having some sort of reaction to all the drugs I had.  I had a bit of a fever and was just miserable.  Anyways, whoever says having your teeth out is a breeze…they MIGHT be telling the truth in their experience but there is always a downside.  Me, I got the downside.  I haven’t eaten “real” food since Tuesday night and I’ve been given an Oxycodine/antibiotic/Advil regime that I am following to manage pain and hopefully, feel better ASAP!  I’m sick of feeling like crap.

Now that the whining is over…I WEIGHT 185lbs! (BMI: 29) Here’s the thing: I haven’t weighed that much since BEFORE I got married in 2005.  I weighed that much when I graduated HIGH SCHOOL! It’s friggin’ amazing.  That little black dress looks absolutely amazing (yes, even when sick, I had to try it on).  Now, I know that losing weight via starvation/fasting/super low-cal diets are unhealthy but really, I’m sick.
Now, on a shallow me moment…so there was a couple of weddings this weekend.  I am a little cynical about weddings (by a little, I really mean a LOT).  One of these two couples I truly believe are going to be together forever and are adorable.  The other couple….well, let’s just say good luck and sweetie…your husband is a lot of fun to play with.  Yeah, okay…I know that’s mean to say but the whole “on again, off again,” spread the wild oats etc etc etc is just like screaming “sure, you’re going to have a very happy life together…until he doesn’t get what he wants or you don’t get what you want…but good luck.”  I have NEVER admitted to being a nice person.  I’m no sweetheart.

Next thing, my ex-husband who I am legally separated from…I’m going to attempt to explain this situation.  J.T and I got married in 2005.  We dated long-distance, got married at 19 and basically, stood no chance of making it…and we didn’t.  He emailed back and forth with an ex, told her that he loved her and they were going to meet up…Now, I’m no perfect wife here.  I never cheated, didn’t even attempt too…but I wasn’t exactly nice either.  I was a jerk, took him for granted and definitely was just nasty sometimes.  So, I can sort of understand why he was upset….but I’m not justifying cheating emotionally or physically.

J.T and I took a year off from each other…sort of.  We stayed in touch, attempted to date (with a LOT of hatred on my part).  Well, needless to say I didn’t exactly just date him…I basically got drunk on the weekends and played “pick a guy” which wound up in disaster (that part I’m not getting into but I’m healthy, no STD’s or pregnancy).  I told JT I wasn’t interested in him and he dated some girl when he was down South.  Needless to say, I got FURIOUS (okay, I am a jealous person and I KNOW I should have behaved better but I’m the crazy ex-girlfriend).  His mother got involved by basically liking ANY girl that wasn’t me…and I blew up.  I emailed the new girlfriend, emailed the mother and gave him a large piece of my mind.  This was not my finest hour but something happened and I needed someone…guess who was there?  Yep, JT.  He broke up with the gf, I gave up on other guys and realized…JT is the right guy for me but we needed to grow up.

We are now dating…we get to see each other sometimes when we’re not working.  We’re talking every night, emailing each other and really getting to know one another again.  He really is a great guy but I’ve learned a LOT about myself in this process such as:

1) I need to be in school right now.  I need a career and I need to focus on myself.

2) I may be in love but my love can walk away.  I can’t take people for granted.

3) My weight changes when I get upset…so I need to watch that.  If I’m upset, put down the pizza pie.

4) I am a good person.   He is a good person.  We just were not good together.  This time it could easily blow up in my face again or we could make it work because we’ve grown up…here’s hoping we’re growing up.

The thing I’ve learned that does have to do with weight loss is that LIFE will keep going on even when we’re dieting.  The chocolate in the world will not evaporate.  The people who try to sabotage weight loss are still there.  Our emotions will still say “Eat the cookie” but for me, it’s time to realize that the cookie is not worth feeling amazing the other 99% of the time.  I have no desire to be the fat chick.  I have no desire to be the one who feels out of place around thinner people or look at myself and feel like I’m not in shape.

My goal is to be 160 pounds (BMI 25.1) by December.  So, this means, I’m going to have to lose 25 more pounds in 4 months.  That is 6.25 pounds each month OR 1.56lbs/week.  Now, this is a rather high goal.  However, it is reasonable considering I am going to be in school and have an unlimited membership to the gym.  Here goes nothing!!!!

I am slowly going crazy…

**INSERT SCREAM HERE**

So I’ve blew my diet for the past couple of days…not that I really really care because next week, I get my wisdom teeth pulled so I’ll be on the ever-popular Liquid diet.  Note: I am sick of being on the liquid diet…seriously…I’m tired of it.  I couldn’t eat when my wisdom teeth got infected, then couldn’t eat at all when I got that stupid stomach ache (I got rushed to Emerg. in Saint John from Grand Manan so I got to go in an airplane) and now, I just want REAL food.

As far as everything else goes, life is awesome right now but there’s not really anything going on.  It’s great that I’m not stressed or tired-0ut but I just feel like my life should be AMPED and I’m sorta putting around.

Anyways, I am in the process of picking blackberries to make jam L8r

-Sammi

New Hair :)

Hey Blog-world,

So I added a photo of my new haircut…here’s the thing, I went from being blond with LONG hair at one time to short and purple spiky to a happy medium.  I also have ten inch hair extensions that make my hair even longer Fact is, when I’m having a “fat” day or terrible skin, my hair is usually pretty good.  Everyone needs something that they can look at about themselves that makes them happy.  Pick a spot on your body that you like and remember that it’s not all bad even when it feels it.

Later guys,

Sammi

(PS: I added a pic of the new hair)